Along the West Wall
by SyringaGirl
Summary: F!Cousland x Anders - just a light hearted one shot where Anders and Lady Cousland find a moment to explore their friendship and maybe something more.  Fluff romance, with a touch of humor and angst.  Timeline: DA:Awakenings, mid-story-ish.


They almost made it back to the main gate of Vigil's Keep before the rain caught up with them. Anders and Lady Cousland had been trying to out pace the looming storm clouds while journeying back from Amaranthine City with supplies. Now they were caught along the west wall of the Keep, taking shelter under an overhang from one of the guard towers. Both panting from the brief run, and laughing from being caught out in the rain like children.

"Almost made it," remarked Anders, shaking the damp from his robe. Lady Cousland smiled at him while she fussed with her wet hair; her laugh and kind, sparking eyes made Anders' heart skip a beat. He had admired her for some time now and thoughts of being with her were rolling over and over in his mind. While they had laughed and flirted with each other almost since their first meeting, Anders was never sure, never confident that her participation wasn't only in jest. He wasn't quite falling in love with her; still he found himself thinking about her more often than perhaps he should. She was strong, kind, clever, witty, graceful and deadly; quite a remarkable woman. Seeing her now, in this dappled sunlight, touched with rain, there was an innocence about her that captivated his thoughts even further. Lady Cousland stopped fussing with her hair, suddenly aware that Anders was staring at her. Anders snapped back to the present moment and his ears blushed at being caught.

Lady Cousland only laughed and relaxed. Leaning against the stone wall she closed her eyes in a moment of peace. "I love the smell of rain on dust," she said, breathing in deeply. She turned and opened her eyes to capture Anders directly in her gaze, "it reminds me of freedom." Anders tried to hide his awkward attraction with his usual wit but, nothing clever came to him. Instead, he stood there grinning like a fool. She continued, "I've been meaning to find a peaceful moment to say thank-you Anders."

Anders was puzzled, "thank-you? To me? Whatever for?"

Lady Cousland laughed and turned her gaze to her own feet, "I don't think I could have faced all of this without you. Without a friend to talk to, to laugh with. You've been kind to me and I'm very, very grateful."

Anders smiled and scratched the back of his head, "well now, that hardly anything. It's not like getting to know you was some tortured trail. Well, there was the whole Darkspawn blood drinking, passing out thing - but I think your friendship was worth it," he laughed.

She smiled and turned to look at him again, "it's more than that though. You've taught me so much. About the state of the Circle and the suffering of Mages. I knew of it before but, it's through your eyes I've been able to really see." Anders searched her eyes as they burned into him with a passionate resolve to her words. "And more," she said "to see what must be done to change it." Lady Cousland reached out and took his hands in hers, "believe me when I say I want to fix it, to make Ferelden a better place. A place of equality, for..."

"Now now, that's enough" Anders interrupted her, " you are too kind my lady." Anders never though he could find such empathy, and from the future Queen of Ferelden no less. His heart was already full from her kindness and he had to stop her talking before it overflowed and his affections came pouring out. "I suppose you will actually be in charge of everything eventually. I know you'll keep this promise you've just given me."

Lady Cousland turned her face away from him, "will you be there to help remind me?"

Anders didn't know how to react. He was suddenly aware that she had been rubbing her thumbs along the outside of their clasps hands. He hesitated to return this small affection, not knowing what to do. The smell of leather and roses filled his senses as he searched her face for a sign of what this all meant but, she wouldn't look at him. Anders suddenly realized she was shivering and he found his egress - "you're catching cold from the rain, aren't you."

She didn't answer. Lady Cousland just stood with him, not wanting to move. She feared breaking this moment but, he was right, she couldn't stop shuddering at the breeze dancing across her damp skin and wet hair.

Anders gently took hold of her shoulders. "Here," he said, delicately running his hands back down the length of her arms. He was generating a gentle warmth through his finger tips and she felt it lap through her body like waves on the beach.

Anders pulled her in even closer and pushed the intensity of his magic as he placed his hands on her waist. Lady Cousland gasped, closing her eyes, awash with the sensation of his touch. Anders' delight crept across his face and he dared to place a gentle kiss at her temple. She let herself go, resting her whole body against his. Anders moved his kindled hands across her back and held her close.

Lady Cousland knew she shouldn't let this happen, not now. Still, she had been longing to know what being in the mage's arms would feel like and decided to indulge herself just a little more. As Anders brushed her forehead with another kiss she found her voice again, "it's a shame you never ended up in Highever during one of your daring Circle escapes Anders. You would have found refuge within our walls, found a kinder sort of freedom with us."

Anders knew that Highever was generous to mages, they lived in cooperation with the Templars inside the city, guarded but unbound like in the Tower. In the past, he had regarded Highever as no better than a gilded cage but, he pondered for a moment, had he known someone like her could have been there... Anders pushed Lady Cousland gently away from him, enough so he could look at her beautiful face, "and would I have found you there if I had?"

Lady Cousland blushed and couldn't find the courage to return his gaze, "I...only...if...if I had met you sooner."

"Well," Anders hesitated only a moment "then, I'm sorry I've kept you waiting." He clasped his hands around hers and leaned forward to kiss her mouth. Lady Cousland might have let him if he hadn't crushed her fingers against the starmetal ring she wore; Alistair's favour, her wedding band. The pinch scattered the romantic fog from her mind. She turned away before Anders' lips could reach her own.

"Anders. I can't," she said, pulling her left hand from his grip and holding it up in front of her face, "I'm a married woman."

Anders took her hand back gently and moved it away from her face "you'd be surprised how often I've heard that." He didn't hesitate now, moving swiftly to try and land the kiss a second time. She turned her shoulder this time and his lips found the nape of her neck. That scent, leather and roses, filled his senses again as he swept his lips and hot breath over her ear.

Against the will of her own body's betraying desire she spoke out "a _happily_ married woman."

Anders heard her voice, firm but kind, and stopped his affections, "ah...well now that is _not_ something one often hears, and is another matter entirely." Anders tried to smile, laughing off the embarrassment of his misstep.

Leading him on had not been a falsehood; she couldn't deny that she wanted this and maybe more. But she could never love him, not really, never chose him over Alistair. Lady Cousland felt her own chest beat hard at forcing this rejection on him, she felt terrible for hurting him. She repeated her earlier sentiment "if I had met you sooner."

Anders took a deep breath and searched her face for the truth he already knew. This didn't feel like rejection; it didn't hurt the way it should have. It was the warm honesty of her words. Anders hadn't misjudged, misinterpreted, she had wanted this too. He couldn't be angry or hurt over such purity. Lady Cousland's heart was so loyal and true that by turning him away she had only made Anders care for her even more. Anders decided at that moment that he did love her, in a way he never imagined he could feel about someone.

"It's too late to go back," she said with an aching heart, "isn't it." She hadn't intended it as question; it was a statement of her foolishness.

Anders gently caressed her face, wiping away what was surely a stray raindrop that had streaked down her cheek under her eye. He drew a long breath and looked up at the sun breaking through the clouds. "No," he said, smiling "I think we can still make to the main gate before sunset."

Despite herself, Lady Cousland let out a quick burst of laughter. She finally looked back at him. That face, those warm eyes, she was awash with affection and returned his smile.

"There," Anders said, "that's much better. Come on. Let's get moving."

"Anders are we-"

"Nope, not another word. We're perfect." Anders' smile was positively beaming. "Besides, now I get to tell everyone that I once _almost_ kissed the Queen of Ferelden!" He pushed out his chest in a stoic pose with a terribly cheesy grin on his face.

Lady Cousland simply shook her head at him. "No," she said flatly, "you can't say that Anders."

Anders' posture and heart dropped suddenly, feeling bad at taking the joke maybe a bit too far. He opened his mouth to apologize but Lady Cousland spoke first.

"It would be a lie," she said. Unexpectedly she threw her arms around his neck and pulled him into a deep passionate kiss. After just an initial jolt of surprise Anders relaxed and wrapped his arms around her waist and reciprocated to the kiss. It was delicious. Perfect. But, this wasn't romance, it was something more -something special that made them both fill with joy. They both felt connected like never before. They both knew that, after this, it could never happen again.

Anders moaned a little as they parted, he had almost drowned in that kiss. Lady Cousland blushed but laughed a little as she spoke, "you have to tell them that _she_ kissed _you_." She reached up and caressed the side of his face then suddenly turned on her heels and, laughing, skipped off towards the main gate.

"Hey!" Anders shouted after her, laughing, "don't make me carry all this by myself". He scrambled to gather up the supplies and run after her. She teased him, looking over her shoulder and giggling as she tried to escape his pursuit. They'd both decided that chasing each other was really much more fun.


End file.
